The Easter Freedom to Fail

“What would you choose to do if you knew you could not fail?”

I remember reading that on a paperweight one time, many years ago, and it left a deep impression. There are many ways that I have learned to play small over the years. Not that I wanted to or that part of me didn’t wither away when I did, but it was, from my brain’s perspective, a matter of survival.

Before dawn today, I heard the very first bird of the morning begin to sing and I started wondering about the internal freedom it took to be the first of many birds to decide that it was officially morning. What is behind the timing of the first bird song of the day? I wonder if anyone has ever studied this. And if we could find a pattern for which bird (or do they rotate turns within each species??) in a given geographic area seems to have the freedom to say “NOW.” I doubt there is any fear of getting the first birdsong timing “wrong” by our feathered friends, but I know if it were a human thing, many of us would be awake all night worrying.

Frankly, I know I’m over-thinking and anthropomorphizing my neighborhood bird population. But that’s one of the delights of the human condition which our God fully and completely understands—along with our fears of many kinds. Hence, the gift and power of the season of Easter for 50 days each liturgical year. “Resurrection,” says the Rt. Rev. Mariann Budde, “is not a one-time event but more like an awakening that happens over and over again in our lives.” Many of us were brought up to believe it’s just something that happens when we physically die. But doesn’t it seem more radical and hope-producing to believe that it’s actually possible any day at any time? The surprise appearances of the Risen Jesus in the gospels suggests exactly this.

Where are you experiencing being stuck today in your life? Is it work-related? relationship-bound? a loss of satisfaction? a deep grief or guilt or regret? Anxiety or depression that won’t relinquish its grip? Existential angst? If you’re feeling it, it’s real. But it doesn’t have to have the last word.

Britt Frank, a trauma specialist, describes nine benefits of staying stuck in her book, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward. When we can compassionately embrace our truth, it can be easier to lean into the invitation that the Christ holds out for us in this especially sacred season of beginning to rise toward resurrection from what may seem like a sinkhole in life. People haven’t been celebrating the truth of resurrection for over 2000 years for nothing. It’s real. But sometimes it’s helpful to see how we are unconsciously saying no to it.

Top Nine Benefits of Staying Stuck (p. 37)

1. Energy conservation: If you don’t do things, you don’t have to expend valuable energy doing things.
2. Image preservation: If you keep yourself stuck, you don’t have to worry about people finding out you’re a “fraud.”
3. Risk management: If you don’t start doing things, you don’t have to worry about failing at things.
4. Control: If you keep your ideas safely confined to your head, you can maintain control over them.
5. Pain numbing: If you never start doing things, you can numb out by fantasizing about “someday” doing things.
6. Familiarity: We often accept the discomfort of the familiar rather than risk the unknown of change—even positive change.
7. Safety: Sometimes it feels safer to stay small.
8. Financial security: Staying stuck doesn’t require you to risk resources for an unknown outcome.
9. Relationship equilibrium: If you don’t do things, you don’t have to worry about shifting the dynamic of your relationships.

At Parables: All-abilities Inclusion Worship this month of May we are focused on Freedom and Creativity because this is what the Risen Christ uses to bring abundance to our lives. Yes, trauma is real. Stuckness is real. But the hand of Jesus is forever extended to us as individuals and to us as a people. 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

“I see your pain and fear,” Spirit says. “After learning from it, let’s turn toward the Light which is always rising–and put our attention there–and just see what new song we hear.”